Couple fight about this more than anything else much ado about nothing

Caralee Frederic, a couples’ therapist and weekend workshop counselor in Colorado, says conflict turns negative when the relationship lacks trust.
A person must trust that his or her partner is thoughtful and kind. This trust allows a person to give the partner a break.

Frederic recommends that couples:

  • Assess the Relationship
  • Identify Underlying Issues
  • Learn Positive Responses

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Stress of police work on marriage

The heart of law enforcement is “to protect and serve” the community. To do this effectively, and handle a range of situations and risks well, extensive training is a necessity.

Yet few people, including those in police work – and other careers that require intensive training – invest the same kind of education mentality toward the most important part of their lives: their marriages.

A lack of relationship “training” can particularly compound divorce risks for police due to a number of job hazards, including:

  • Rotating and long shifts
  • The intrusive nature of work demands into personal time
  • A partner’s inherent worry about officer’s safety
  • Symptoms of Post – Traumatic Stress.

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Defensiveness is offensive

WHAT IS DEFENSIVENESS?
Defensiveness is one of the “4 Horsemen” that are predictors of relationship dissolution, according to marriage expert Dr. John Gottman.

Defensiveness appears in one of 2 ways:

  • Righteous indignation (how dare you! I don’t have to take this!) or
  • Innocent victim-hood (why can’t you see all the good I do?).

Defensiveness is a way of shifting the focus away from addressing the problem or complaint; Defensiveness shifts focus toward blaming your partner.

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Are you a Beauty or a Beast in Your Relationship?

QUIZ: 
Honestly assess yourself to see whether you are contributing to a Beautiful or a Beastly Relationship. Remember, the quiz outcome measures where you are now … set goals to elevate your love!

Click on this link to check whether you are Beautiful or Beastly in your relationship, and how you can improve. Visit:  http://principleskills.com/blog/beauty-or-beast-quiz